How old is Grandma

One evening, a boy was talking to his grandmother
about current events.

The boy asked his grandmother what she thought
about the shootings at schools, the computer age,
and just things in general.

Grandma replied,

"Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

Television.

Penicillin.

Polio Shots.

Frozen Foods.

Xerox Machines.

Contact Lenses.

Frisbees.

The Pill.

There were no:

Credit Cards.

Laser Beams.

Ball-point Pens

Man had not invented:

Panthouse.

Air Conditioners.

Dishwashers.

Clothes Dryers -

And man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your Grandfather and I got married first,
and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me,
"Sir". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen
and every man with a title "Sir."

We were before gay rights, computer dating, dual careers,
day care centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right
and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for
our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this
country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along
with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors
when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends - not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, VCRs, CDs, electric typewriters, computers, I-pods, DVDs, cell-phones, yogurt,
or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the
President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains
out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it
was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on
your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy
things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and
a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your
nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600... But who
could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

"grass" was mowed.

"coke" was a cold drink.

"pot" was something your mother cooked in and

"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office

"chip" meant a piece of wood

"hardware" was found in a hardware store and

"software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe
that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say
there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am ?"

Grandma would be only 58 years old.

How old is Grandma

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