Cool meanings

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Cool meanings



Cigarette:



A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.



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Love affairs:



Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.



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Marriage:



It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master



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Divorce:



Future tense of marriage



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Lecture:



An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.



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Conference:



The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



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Compromise:



The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



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Tears:



The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .



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Dictionary:



A place where divorce comes before marriage.



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Conference Room:



A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.



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Ecstasy:



A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.



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Classic:



A book which people praise, but do not read.



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Smile:



A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



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Office:



A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



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Yawn:



The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.



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Etc:



A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



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Committee:



Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



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Experience:



The name men give to their mistakes.



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Atom Bomb:



An invention to end all inventions.



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Philosopher:



A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.



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Diplomat:



A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.



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Opportunist:



A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.



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Optimist:



A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.



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Pessimist:



A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY



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Miser:



A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.



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Father:



A banker provided by nature.



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Criminal:



A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.



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Boss:



Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



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Politician:



One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.



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Doctor:



A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.




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